Ode to Grandma

Grandma, Lin Jui Cheng (moi née), lived to a ripe old age of 101. She taught me how to appreciate the small things in life.



An entrepreneur, she started a provision shop, bootstrapping on $200 which she borrowed. (Grandfather was the accountant and grandmother ran the operations, and attend to customers and suppliers - business development in those days.) She started with selling fish in China but moved on to selling life's staples, rice, salt when she moved to Singapore. She was a jack of all trades - and was involved from a a wide range of activities - growing bean sprouts from beans, washing rubber and making belachan (chilli paste).





She was strategic in her business dealings. When regular customer wished to purchase supplies from her and she ran out of stock, she would not tell them that she ran out of stock but would source from others and rather sell at a loss than to encourage her regular customers from going to others.

People who remembered her from her younger days remembered her as a hummingbird perpetually in motion. If she entrusted someone with a task and it was not done immediately to her requirements or speed, she would take it up and do it herself. Her diligence rubbed on me - she was always on the move. In her hundred years, she probably accomplished twice what most people accomplished.

I remembered her as diplomatic. From my mom's anecdote, she never said no to a customer who haggled on price, she simply pitched less rice off the weighing scale. In her seventies, she was still active in selling bird's nest.

A lot of us get blinded by our careers and neglect the important things and people around us. Her children and grandchildren were clearly her priority. She left her husband in her fifties and only saw her husband, my grandfather, once when he came over to singapore. This was all for the sake of giving her children and grandchildren a better life in singapore. In her seventies, she even came to my primary school (Maris Stella) to buy lunch for me during recess. I can't underscore the devotion she showed to her grandchildren. She even met with an car accident while she bought lunch for me, which I still can't entirely forgive myself for. She praised her children when they did well and was always encouraging.

From my mom's anecdote, she was entrepreneurial and a risk taker for her family. She made trips to indonesia to smuggle her grand children over to Singapore (on a small shipping boat fraught with danger) to lead a better life. Most of her grandchildren are leading successful lives in singapore and arguably this would not have been possible without grandma.



She singlehandedly brought up a brood of grandchildren, multi tasking before the word - multi-tasking - was even coined. She probably coined the term Mompreneur and Grandmapreneur. One of my aunt recalled that when times were busy at the provision shop, she would put some of the grandchildren in buckets or boxes which she will tuck safely underneath a table.



My grandma was not only a grandma, she was also a mom to many of her grandchildren. Many of my cousins feel that she was closer to her than her mom. Grandchildren all wanted to repay the debt they owned, but inevitably each have their own brood. Most (including myself) feel a sense of guilt that they should have spent more time with her.

Tenacity is her defining trait. She was a fighter - numerous times she recovered from the brink of death. A car accident in her seventies, a fall which left a nasty gash on the head.

Grandma has a a strong fighting spirit and also thrived on independence. In her eighties, when her sons / grandsons wanted to lead her across the road, she would shake their hands away.

Focus on the important things. She is mindful of the important things in life. In the eighties, this sense of focus became more apparent. She will ask me about my wage (upon knowing the figure she is content) and whether I gave portion of it to my parents ( to which i said yes)

In her clearer moments, she asks about her birthday. (She prefers a banquet and frowns when we mention a buffet.) That was always the highlight of her year and to which the gathering of children and grandchildren brought her a lot of joy. On her 100th birthday, we were delighted with her strong vitality.

I recalled she took me marketing ( going to the wet market) and indulged me with 7-11 ice cream and a comic. That was one of my earliest memory and my recollection that life's simple pleasure. She loved durians and chicken rice but would always save it for her children / grandchildren. It was only in her later years that we indulged her and bought durians, chicken rice and coffee every week.

I recalled playing Blackjack with her. I am always impressed with very sharp mind despite her age. Her knack for numbers is astounding. I was told that she can remember accounts and do complex calculations in her head in her younger days.

On the hospital bed, she murmured that grandfather is coming to take her away. I could still remember her auguish when one of her daughters died. I felt a tinge of sadness but perhaps she will be in a happier place.

One thing that I will ask myself : will i remember this during my deathbed?

Are these people who will be at my deathbed?

If yes, I should go the extra mile. If not, I should ask myself: is this absolutely necessary. Are there better ways to spend my time, and should i be spending them on folks which matter, I.e. Family.

Grandma, may you rest in peace.

Tan Yinglan 3 Dec 2010